The Ageing Ego

The ego is a marvelous construct and in my case it arrived fully formed as I rolled down the front steps of my grandmother's house when I must have about two going on three. By this I mean, I was lying length-ways along the top step and then I rolled to the lower steps until I reached the bottom. There was nobody with me and there were only about half a dozen steps but I had the realisation when I reached the bottom that "I am". Prior to that I'd enjoyed the freedom and spontaneity of animal consciousness.

With that "I am" experience, I slowly became painfully shy whereas before I'd been the quintessential Aries: footloose and fearless. It took me decades to grow out of my shyness and it certainly handicapped me in the first half of my life. However, like most egos, it did the job and got me through life and at age 73 is still getting me through. As I age though it becomes more and more apparent that my ego is just a construct, artificial and temporary, that has no solidity or permanence. 

I shall be glad to shed it and, while consciousness is retained after death, it's of a very different quality to the ego-bound variety that most of us experience on Earth. First and foremost, as the fraud Freud said, the ego is a body ego and once the body is dropped, consciousness experiences a profound shock and fundamental change. It's experienced as a liberation compared to the tyranny of the ego with its sly, self-serving interests and petty vanities that limit us and make us far smaller than the infinity that we really are. As Barry Long called it: the stinking self. Like electricity, the ego is a useful servant but a terrible tyrant. 

With the body gone, the barriers that the ego set up to preserve its identity drop away and we can review the life just lived objectively. We can experience the effect that our actions had on others whereas as in life we weren't fully aware of them or didn't care. It's a self assessment. No one is judging us. It's our own review and we draw our own conclusions. The lessons learned shape our future life: its circumstances, the time and place, karmic debts to be repayed etc.

Toward the end of life, my life at least, the ego feels like a straight-jacket formed by the habits of a lifetime. I realise that I'm part of something much larger of which this current life is just a facet. My consciousness is focused on that facet currently but soon the light will shift and illuminate another facet. This multi-faceted reality is what Jung termed the Self. All the facets exist simultaneously but the focus of consciousness produces the illusion of time. The goal is to experience the light that is illuminating each facet and with that experience comes liberation. The facets were a means to end, a way of drawing our attention to the light.

For most of our life we are absorbed at a granular level in the details of one facet of this multi-faceted reality, with our backs firmly to the light. We are absorbed in the shadow play on the wall of Plato's cave.

Cosmic Consciousness

 In making reference to Balzac in a recent post to my Staying Healthy blog, I was reminded of Bucke's "Cosmic Consciousness: A Study in the Evolution of the Human Mind" published in 1901 and recommended to me by my mother sometime in the 1960's. She must have come across it thanks to the Theosophical Society whose meetings she often attended in the late fifties and early sixties. The book can be downloaded from PDFDRIVE as well as many other sources probably.

Here is an excerpt from his chapter on Balzac:

While still very young Balzac decided to be a writer. It seems that he felt, even as a boy, that he was destined to do something great in that line, and he composed at school, among other things, a treatise on the will and an epic poem. Later he wrote at Paris, in the course of ten years, mostly over the pseudonymn of "Horace de Saint Aubin," some forty volumes, said to be almost entirely valueless. A good authority sums up this episode in Balzac's history as follows: "Before he was thirty years old he had published, under a variety of pseudonyms, some twenty long novels, veritable Grub Street productions, written in sordid Paris attics, in poverty, in perfect obscurity. Several of these 'œuvres de jeunesse' have lately been republished, but the best of them are unreadable. No writer ever served harder apprenticeship to his art, or lingered more hopelessly at the base of the ladder of fame." Then, at the age of thirty, his genius began to dawn in "Les Chouans" and "Physiologie du Marriage." He must have entered Cosmic Consciousness about the early part of 1831, when thirty-two years of age, since "Louis Lambert" (which was undoubtedly conceived immediately after illumination) was written in 1832. By 1833, when he was thirty-four years of age, he had entered into full possession of his true life, a presentiment of which had dominated him from early boyhood.

It's an interesting book and Bucke does a good job of trying to make sense of such disparate characters as Jesus, Mohammed, Shakespeare, Ramakrishna, Balzac and others. His mistake is to lump them all together under the umbrella of having attained "Cosmic Consciousness". Perhaps he wasn't aware of the seven planes of consciousness. This would have helped him differentiate between the levels of consciousness that each had reached. It was only in 1993, after finally grasping what Meher Baba was writing about in his book "God Speaks", that I understood about these various levels.

Balzac obviously gained access to the higher planes or was a conduit for entities resident on those planes but he was far from the ultimate reality that is realised by beings who attain to the seventh plane of consciousness. This state could justifiably be described as Cosmic Consciousness but not the lower states and it is attained by very few. Once attained it can never be lost. Jesus Christ, Mohammed, Gautama Siddharta, Ramakrisha and of course Meher Baba himself all attained this state. Baba was only seven years at the time the book was written and He himself did not know the future that awaited Him.

God versus Godhood

How much better it would be if God were conceived of less as a person and more as an experience. Boys pass into to manhood, girls pass into womanhood and some humans pass into Godhood. All humans have the capacity to experience Godhood but very few do. The more God is objectified, the more humans project human qualities on to this notion that they have of God. God becomes a sort of super-person who is all powerfull, all knowledgeable, all merciful etc. The attempt is made to contain God within the bounds of human intellect and understanding.

The so-called Perfect Masters, also called Sadgurus or Qutubs, have experienced Godhood or God-consciousness and returned to worldly consciousness for “universal duty”. Others, called Majzoobs, have also experienced Godhood but remain oblivious to the world, their bodies are here but they have no awareness of their physical surroundings. The majority of those who attain Godhood drop their body within three days, as they have no further use for it. Meher Baba has told us that there are always 56 God-realised souls on Earth at any one time. It is only on Earth that these God-realised souls can be found and on none of the other approximately 18,000 worlds supporting human life.

The first human to attain Godhood is known as the Avatar or Ancient One. This human was a male and His “universal duty” is never-ending. Unlike the Sadgurus who return to consciousness of the physical world only once, the Avatar returns periodically (every 700 or 1400 years) and always in a male body. Zoroaster, Krishna, Ram, Buddha and Christ are some of the forms He has taken. His most recent incarnation was in the form of Meher Baba (1894-1969).

Meher Baba’s life has been recorded in great detail and Bhau Kalchuri’s epic biography, Lord Meher, remains the most authoritative account of His life. Unlike previous Avatars, Meher Baba did not establish a new religion because He said that there were enough of them already. To quote His Universal Message (source):

I have come not to teach but to awaken. Understand therefore that I lay down no precepts. Throughout eternity I have laid down principles and precepts, but mankind has ignored them. Man’s inability to live God’s words makes the Avatar’s teaching a mockery. Instead of practicing the compassion He taught, man has waged crusades in His name. Instead of living the humility, purity and truth of His words, man has given way to hatred, greed and violence. Because man has been deaf to the principles and precepts laid down by God in the past, in this present Avataric Form I observe Silence. You have asked for and been given enough words — it is now time to live them. To get nearer and nearer to God you have to get further and further away from “I”, “my”, “me” and “mine”. You have not to renounce anything but your own self. It is as simple as that, though found to be almost impossible. It is possible for you to renounce your limited self by my Grace. I have come to release that Grace. I repeat, I lay down no precepts. When I release the tide of Truth which I have come to give, men’s daily lives will be the living precept. The words I have not spoken will come to life in them.

It can be noted that the Avatar Himself uses the term God but He makes it clear, via His other utterances, that God is not an external entity but an inner state to be attained. To find God is to experience Godhood: Oneness without Division. Meher Baba emphasised the importance of the Perfect Masters and Avatar as well as alluding to the formless state of God (Godhood) in the following quote:

On May 27th, (1926) Meher Baba discoursed on the Personal and Impersonal sides of God:

The foremost and highest object in life is personally serving a Sadguru and complete surrenderance to him. The second is constant meditation on the divine name. The third is selfless service, and the fourth is the offering of worship (prayer). Serving a Sadguru is like taking a course for a Master’s degree; meditating on the divine name is like studying for a Bachelor’s degree; performing selfless service is like obtaining a high school diploma, and offering prayers is like learning the alphabet. Once one attains the Bachelor’s degree, it does not take much time to attain the Master’s degree.

Were someone to ask me who is greater Personal or Impersonal God, Tukaram or Bhagwan, Zarathustra or Ahuramazda, Jesus or God the Father, I would definitely answer that Tukaram, Zarathustra and Jesus are greater. In fact, they are the Greatest of the Great because by being a Sadguru or the Avatar they render infinite service to the universe and suffer infinitely by taking upon themselves the burden of the world’s infinite amount of sanskaras. Undoubtedly, a conscious divine person such as Tukaram or Zarathustra, compared to the unconscious Bhagwan or Ahuramazda (formless God), is definitely greater!

Zarathustra was actually God in human form – an Avatar. In order to work in creation, he had to come down as man among illiterate, fanatical and hot-tempered humanity. Had Zarathustra told them to worship him, they would have denounced, harassed and murdered him. They would have thought him an enormous egotist and absolutely crazy. So he taught them to pray to formless God. But in reality, by worshiping formless God, they were worshiping him; and consequently they gained the impression that Ahuramazda was greater than Zarathustra, which was wrong.

Lord Meher, Original ed., Bhau Kalchuri, Vol. 3, 803.

The Four Pillars of Meherabad

Vishnu came into Meher Baba’s contact as a teenage boy in 1918, and from the days of Manzil-e-Meem in 1922, he was always with Baba. His almost forty years of service, love and obedience to the God-Man were as close to perfect as perfect can be described. His mother, Kakubai, had died in Meherabad, and now Vishnu had laid aside his body at the Beloved’s side. Vishnu was incomparable in forbearance, and Baba was always pleased with him. Even under the most trying circumstances, he would never utter a word of complaint, and he put up with every hardship. Vishnu was called “One of the four pillars of Meherabad,” along with Adi, Pendu and Padri. Among the men, he was sorely missed.

The above is a quote from this source. In reading “Lord Meher” it’s sometimes difficult to clearly distinguish between the different mandali. I’m prompted in this post to explore the life of this pillar of Meherabad, using Meher Baba’s Life and Travels as my source of information. Vishnu Deorukhar was also known as “Bazaar-Master,” because he did the marketing for many years at Meherabad, Meherazad and other headquarters. Figure 1 shows a photo of him. The text following is taken from the just quoted source and is reproduced in full because it’s difficult to read on the actual site. I took a screenshot of the text and then used Google Keep to grab the text from the image. It did a good job and I only needed to make a few minor corrections.

Vishnu
Born : 21st June 1903
Died : 13th May 1962

When the disciple is ready, it is said, the Master appears. Vishnu Deorukhat, later known as “Vishnu Master,” must have completed his preparations in previous births, since he met Baba when just a boy of fifteen, and remained His permanently. The year was 1919, and the place was Poona. Vishnu lived with his mother just across the street from Merwan’s toddy shop located in the Kasba Peth district, a neighborhood near the river inhabited by poor fishermen. In these days, Baba would perform arti in a small room adjacent to the shop that He had established as a temple, and after prayers He gave gave prasad to all-comers. Baba was drawing many of His earliest disciples to Himself at this time.

One day while Baba was distributing prasad, a boy came forward, holding out his hands. Before he could leave, Baba asked him, “Where is your father!” Young Vishnu told Baba that his father had died and that he lived with his mother. Baba told the lad, “From now on I am your father” With these words Baba sealed the connection, which proved to be lifelong. Soon after this Vishnu’s mother, who was cooking Baba His lunch each day, complained that her son was associating with a bad group of boys and going to movies. Immediately Baba set off to the neighborhood theater, caught the boy, and slapped him several times. Shocked, Vishnu protested that he had bought the ticket with his own money. “But did you ask me if you could go to the movies? Baka scolded him. “Didn’t I tell you that I would be your father!”

From that time on, Vishnu knew that he could not do anything without Baba’s permission. Four years later, in early 1923 Vishnu was called to join Baba as one of His mandali at the Marsil-e-Meem in Bombay; and a year after that he came to live with Baba at Meherabad. During this period Baba designated Vishnu as bazaar-wali responsible for shopping and keeping the accounts. And this duty stuck throughout the years, whether Baba was on tour, in Meherabad, in Meherazad, in Guruprasad, or other places.

Vishnu accompanied Baba on His first trip to Persia in 1929 and during His sensational, high-profile visit to the West in 1932. On other tours during this phase of Baba’s intensive world travel, He assigned Vishnu the duty of sending Him a daily telegram reporting on the routine activities and health of the mandali back in the ashram. If Vishnu happened to miss a day, Baba would demand, “What happened! Why hasn’t Vishnu sent the telegram! And Baba would have His own telegram sent out asking the reason for the lapse.

From the mid-1920s until he passed anang, Vishnu was closely associated with Meherabad. Indeed, he was one of the “Four Pillars of Meherabad,” along with Padri, Pendu, and Adi Senior. Baba give them this title in the great meetings in August 1949 in which He announced the New Life. During those meetings Vishnu came forward as one of the “yes-walis” and set out with Baba as one of His twenty companions on October 16.

After the New Life Vishnu continued in his role as one of Baba’s resident mandali. He was one of Baba’s fellow-travelers when He met with His second automobile accident in Satara in December 1956. When Eruch regained consciousness and staggered out of the car with broken ribs in the accidents immediate aftermath, he asked Vishnu, who was the least hurt, what had happened. But it seems that Vishru had experienced a vision of Baba in His universal body, surrounded by effulgent light. Stunned by what he had witnessed, Vishnu could only speak to Eruch about the radiance of Baba’s face, who had appeared to him like Krishnu triumphant on the battlefield of Kurukshetra! Perhaps Baba had granted him some glimpse of the inner dimensions of His Avataric working on that momentous occasion.

Though Vishnu did not often stay at Meherabad, when Baba shifted residence to Guruprasad in Poona in the summer months, Vishnu accompanied Him there. And so it came to pass, one afternoon in 1962 shortly after the usual Sunday darshan gathering had dispersed, that Vishnu passed away after a heart attack. Informed by Goher of what had happened, Baba came from His room and sat by His old disciple, who had worn out his life in his Beloved’s service, for a full hour. “Never before have I sat near the body of any of My mandali as I am doing today by Vishnu,” Baba commented.”He is most fortunate. Vishnu is now merged in Me.”

A “smallish man of regal bearing” as Mani afterwards described him, Vishnu kept a low profile among Baba’s mandali, but was one of the stalwarts in His work. His body now tests in the men’s graveyard in Lower Meherabad next to the grave of his fellow disciple and longtime friend Nilu.

The author of Meher Baba’s Life and Travels makes the odd statement on the site that Meher Baba claimed the Vishnu was Napoleon Bonaparte in a previous life. However, a reading of Lord Meher (page 2209 online edition) makes it clear that this is not the case. What Baba actually said was:

Meanwhile, at Laksar, the men mandali had to change trains with Chatti Baba, who refused to board it. The train was about to leave when Vishnu thought of this trick: He told the mast, “We are trying to take you back to your native place, but we can’t, if you won’t board the train.” The ruse worked and Chatti Baba happily climbed on board. When Baba heard of it, he laughed, and joked, “Vishnu is short and does all the work of marketing and travel arrangements. But now I see that not only does he look like Napoleon and labor like Napoleon — even his brain works like Napoleon’s!”

Remembering Meher Baba's Birthday

Today marks the 128th anniversary of The Ancient One. To celebrate I'll relate a most interesting incident that was reported in the book I read recently about Harry Kenmore's life with Baba. I made a post about my reaction to the book in a post titled Harry Kenmore. The incident occurred some months after Baba's death and I've taken the liberty of quoting from the book:

Tape Transcription - Sunday, August 24, 1969

Eruch and Harry are walking along the Khajgi Rasta Road

engaged in conversation about Baba and His work with the

lepers, when they meet an old Indian farmer. Later they realize

that looks can be deceiving.

Eruch: "Jai Baba. Here is an old man who wants to shake hands."

They are addressing a man they meet on the road. He had a red

turban on his head.

Harry: “He's a big man, isn't he? How tall is he?”

Eruch: “Just feel him, just see his shoulders.”

Harry: “How tall is he, about six foot.”

Eruch: “About six foot two inches, I'd say.”

Harry: “He's a big man in these parts.”

Eruch: "He's an old man too."

Harry: “And what does he do, is he retired?”

Eruch asks the man in an Indian language. The man replies to

Eruch that he does field work. Eruch: “He's a farmer.”

Harry: “Oh, he's a farmer.”

The man laughs.

Harry: "Oh, up in this town, a town nearby?”

Eruch: “Near Yoshindi.”

Harry: “Hmm, How old is he?”

Eruch asks his age and the man says seventy-five.

Harry: “Seventy-five.” Eruch and Harry are laughing. “My God

isn't that a very, very ripe old age.”

Eruch: “Very old age, but he is so strong and hefty.”

Now the man is laughing again.

Harry: “Oh, so strong. He understands English?”

Eruch: “No, no, he says from the gestures he understands."

The man continues to laugh.

Harry: “Oh I see he has a good laugh.”

Eruch: "Jai Baba."

Harry: “Namaste, Jai Baba. Oh he knows Baba.”

Eruch: “Hmm.”

Harry: “He's quite a happy old man isn't he?”

Eruch: "He wanted to embrace us.

Harry: “He did really?”

Eruch: “So, I said simply shake hands.”

Harry: “Why, just because he's a happy fellow?”

Eruch: “No, no, not a happy fellow. I don't know what it is.”

Harry: "Something he saw in us?”

Eruch: “He just came. He was walking on the side road. He came

with all smiles and his arms spread out as if he came to embrace

us."

Harry laughs and says, “Maybe because it's Sunday!”

Eruch: “God, no."

Harry: “You've never seen him?”

Eruch: “No, I haven't seen him. He looked very hefty. How did you

recognize he was hefty?”

Harry: “His distance of his hand above me and the size of his hand,

and the manner in which he shook my hand I could tell that he's

a big fellow. That's pretty good isn't it?”

Eruch: "It's common sense.”

Harry: “Yeah, I mustn't give away my secrets."

They resume the conversation they had before they met the

man.

Tape Transcription – Tuesday, August 26, 1969

The women mandali and Harry are talking about the things he

did during his stay and the unique experience he had with the

farmer.

Harry: “... ...And then we had the, let's see, the walks were very

fine. Did Eruch tell you about the interesting experience we had

Sunday morning? I think it was Sunday morning.”

Mani: “Yes.”

Meheru: “Mehera said she would like to hear it.”

Harry: "Well, this is what happened. We were walking up on the

road along the Rasta. This was Sunday morning and of course,

Eruch did not alert me to it. But a tall man approached us. He

seemed to come out of nowhere. He had on a white dhoti and a

white shirt with an attractive red turban. He was dressed simply

but he was clean. He looked up and he approached us with

outstretched arms. So Eruch stopped us and I asked what are we

stopping for? He said there's a man here who wants to embrace

us.

Mani: “Yes.”

Harry: “You know, we had met farmers on the road and other

people before, but they usually just say Jai Baba and they go on

their way. Or Eruch may have a few words in Marathi about

something - their crops or what not and then they go on their

way. But this gentleman was different, you see.”

Mani: "It's most unusual."

Harry: "Eruch said he wants to embrace us. So Eruch said, wait

shake hands with him. So he put his hand out and we shook

hands. The way he shook hands, it was just as though it was

Baba. And he spoke in a very cryptic tone, very terse answers.

Just one word answers. I said where are you from? He said,

Shinti. I said, what's your occupation? He said, farmer. You

know, just one word.”

Mani: "Yes.”

Harry: “Then I said how old are you? He said seventy-five. Then,

where's your chin” Harry says to Mani. “Then he took hold of

my chin, the way Baba did in playing with me - just like this.”

Mani: “My gosh!”

Harry: “You know, playing just like this. He was very happy,

smiling and we shook hands again. And the rhythm, give me

your hand.” He took Mani's hand. “The rhythm of the hand was

the way Baba would shake hands with me, you know.” Harry

demonstrated to Mani an up and down motion.

Mehera: “Isn't that wonderful.”

Harry: "Well, and then he said jaja - now you can finish your

walk.

Now a farmer never does that.”

Mani: "No."

Harry: “And He didn't seem to have a farmer's hand. You know,

they never say jaja they say, Jai Baba, they bow and they leave.

But he said jaja - keep going with you walk. Just like that he

went down the road. Unfortunately I didn't ask Eruch to turn

back to see if he was in sight. I swear if he had turned around I

bet in ten seconds, he would have been gone. Just like that.

What happened was I was thinking about it all day. Eruch, I

think was thinking about it too. Then in the evening he said, “Do

you remember that fellow on the road that we met with the red

turban?' Then I said, do you think he was an Abdul or

something?” Eruch said, 'No, I don't know. It might have been

Baba because he was very happy, smiling.'

Mani: “And he also laughed.”

Harry: “Yes, as if to say you fool, don't you recognize me or that

kind of an attitude. Eruch also said the same thing. And he only

had business to do with me. Not with Eruch.”

Mani: "No!”

Harry: “You see.

Mehera: Baba told you to come to Meherazad, not to Poona, so

Baba wanted to give you Darshan.”

Harry: “So I said to Eruch, why didn't you let him embrace us

when he came over to us? Eruch said, 'Well, you know how are

you to know what might sing out of something.' I said, “That's

ridiculous he came in a very friendly manner, alright!”

Mani: “I'll tell you something. When Eruch told me the story that

morning, I thought that Eruch usually understates things like this

then over. But even when he began telling me, and he told me

how that man looked, he said something strange happened this

morning. He said, 'Harry and I met this native and he was quite

unusual; he did unusual things. First, he approached us with his

arms out stretched towards Harry and wanted to embrace him.'

Eruch said he was so startled. It was all so sudden that he

automatically put out his hand to stop him. He said to the man,

“What do you want?' But even while Eruch was telling me this,

it was very strange to hear it. One had such a thrill of not

knowing what was coming. Now, after I heard the whole story I

came and told Mehera. Even as I began to tell her, she had that

same kind of look in her eye as I had when Eruch was telling

me. Because she had the same feeling that it was Baba.”

Harry: “Do you think it was Baba?”

Mani: “Yes, I have thought that. I told Mehera and I only just began

telling her that they met a man.”

Harry: “Do you think it was Baba?”

Mehera: "I felt it was Baba."

At this point Harry becomes very animated and excited in his

voice.

Harry: “Fantastic! Because he was a tall gentleman about six foot

or six foot two. He was cleanly dressed, simple but clean with a

properly tied turban. He had just a turban on his head - a red

turban.”

Mani: "We who know natives feel it is most unusual for a man to

come and shake hands like that and come and do that.”

Harry: “Do that, he did that just the way Baba used to do, when He

used to say, 'Oh you haven't shaved.'You know.'

Harry is referring to the times when Baba and he used to

compare the closeness of their shaves, and how Baba would

stroke Harry's chin.

Mani: “Apart from that he didn't say, oh, I know he's a doctor or

who are you, or Ram Ram or anything like that.”

Mehera said, “Did he ask any questions?”.

Harry: “No. But why didn't Eruch let him embrace me. I don't

understand it.”

Mani: “Eruch was also looking down, he was talking to you and

then suddenly he was there, you see. And you had your

apparatus there and suddenly it was automatic for him to do that.

He did contact you, he shook hands.”

Harry: "Oh definitely.”

Mani: "It's the same thing.”

Meheru: “Harry, Mehera says that because you didn't come for the

Darshan in April, Baba's giving you Darshan here.”

Harry laughs heartily and says, “You think that was Baba?”

Mehera: “Yes, definitely!”

Harry: “Really fantastic. I know he wasn't a farmer.”

Mehera: “He took the form of a farmer to come to you.”

Harry: “I said how old are you? What's your age? He said seventy-

five.”

Mehera: “Seventy-five was Baba's

age.”

Harry: “Seventy-five and it was cryptic, a terse answer. He gave

one word answers. He was giggling, laughing, you know, very

happy. Eruch said he was looking at him as though with the

attitude. Fool don't you know who I am? Don't you recognize

me?” Harry says this with a laugh in his voice.

Meheru: “Mehera says a native usually never knows their age and

even if they did they would never outright say it.”

Harry: "He said seventy-five.”

Mehera: “Baba's age. Yes, more signs that Baba gave to you and

yet you did not recognize Him.”

Harry: “I'll be dog gone! That might have been Baba.

Unfortunately, I just didn't remember. Eruch and I were deep in

a certain discussion about Baba.”

Mani: “Baba meant for you to be engrossed and not look back.'

Harry: “That's it, because somehow I didn't say turn around to see

if you could see him. I bet you if he turned around, in ten

seconds, he would have be gone. I bet you he wouldn't have

been on the road. We were on a long stretch of the Rasta road

and you could see way down the road. There were no side roads,

you see. We were right on that main road.”

Meheru: “You didn't get it on your baby either?

Harry: “I don't think so. I think when he stopped, I shut my baby

off. Because we'd been stopped on the road so many times I

figured this is just another incident. So I didn't catch it on the

baby. But he spoke low, like he didn't want to reveal his voice.”

This encounter was caught on Harry's 'baby'. And the previous

taped transcription of Harry and Eruch meeting the farmer with

the red turban was the actual encounter.

Meheru: “What was the voice like Harry?”

Harry: “Well, it was very..... I'll tell you one thing he was very

happy and he was giggling. He was very happy, you know. He

was giggling about something.”

Mani: “You said the hand wasn't like a farmer's.”

Harry: “It wasn't a farmer's. No. It almost felt a little bigger, like

the shape of Baba's hand.”

Mani: “I'll tell you something, a farmer who was seventy-five

years old, his hands would be very much like a farmers.”

Harry: “Oh, this is no farmer. He was straight, he was vigorous,

you know, vigorous, no question about it. There was vigor,

strength and clarity about him. There was nothing old about him.

He was very self-contained and had tremendous self-confidence.

Everything about him was different. He was just different.”

Mani: “And the way he was laughing, he was enjoying the joke,

you see.”

Harry: “He was giggling and he was very happy. And the way he

said jaja, you know.”

Mani: “Keep going”

Harry: “Go on with your walk.”

Harry laughs.

Meheru: “No farmer would have said that.'

Harry: “No farmer, so I knew he wasn't a farmer. So I kept thinking

about it and thinking about it. And I said was he an Abdul, you

know. Eruch said, “No I think it was Baba.' I said, I thought of

that but I don't know.”

Mani: “The jaja was accompanied by gestures, as Eruch showed us.

It was very much like Baba's.”

Harry: “Oh, really?”

Mani: “He said more than that to Eruch, take him for a walk; go on

with your walk.”

Mani demonstrates the gesture to Harry with Harry's own

hands.

Harry: “Fantastic!”

Mehera: “Wonderful experience you had.”

Harry: "It was a marvelous experience. Let's see I think it

happened that morning.”

Mehera: “On Sunday?”

Harry: “Last Sunday morning. So probably that was my Darshan

with Baba, I don't know.”

Mehera: “It shows that Baba is happy with you. He loves you.”

Harry: “Yes, you really feel that was Baba?”

Mehera: "Yes, yes definitely!”

Harry: “Fantastic!”

Mehera: “Baba could take any form He wants.”

Harry: “Any form, ah, I see, because he came taller. He was about

six foot two."

Mehera: “Yes.”

Harry: "He was chesty with broad shoulders. He was a fine looking

man.”

Mani: “Mehera says no Hindu, let alone a farmer, would do this.”

Harry: "He just took my chin, just the way Baba would, just like

that.”

Mani: "No stranger would just approach like that with arms

outstretched. They would first say Ram, Ram, where are you

going? They always go round about.”

Harry: “It was as though he was expecting us on the road. He came

with outstretched arms. I don't remember if I shook hands with

him a second time, I don't remember. It was all so quick.”

Meheru: “He both hid his identity and revealed it at the same time.”

Harry: “I see it was a wonderful experience.”

Mani: “Even shaking hands, a farmer would know that they don't

shake hands. He might have come like this. No, they don't shake

hands."

Harry: “No, he came with his hands just like that. And the rhythm

was like Baba's.”

Mani: “By the time a farmer is seventy-five he would have such

gnarled hands."

Harry: “It was like the shape of Baba's hand

the broad palm.

Because in November, 1968 Baba must have shaken hands with

me three, four or five times. We'd shake hands and He'd say,

'It's a deal.' Then He'd be talking and again He would say, 'It's

a deal.' That's the first time Baba asked me to shake hands with

Him, which was last November.”

Mani: “Oh really?”

Harry: "Oh, yes.”

Mani: “Ah, you mean Baba put out His hand first.”

Harry: “Baba indicated through Eruch, that He wanted to shake

hands. It's a deal, and Baba would say, it's a deal.”

They continued their conversation but now they were asking

Harry how many times he was embraced by Baba.

The Ancient of Days

Figure 1: The Ancient of Days
by William Blake (1794)

In my mid-twenties I had a quite large poster of Blake's "The Ancient of Days" that adorned the walls of the various abodes in which I lived during those years. To quote Wikipedia:

Ancient of Days is a name for God in the Book of Daniel. The title "Ancient of Days" has been used as a source of inspiration in art and music, denoting the creator's aspects of eternity combined with perfection. William Blake's watercolour and relief etching entitled The Ancient of Days is one such example. This term appears three times in the Book of Daniel (7:9, 13, 22), and is used in the sense of God being eternal.

I beheld till the thrones were cast down, and the Ancient of Days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire.

Daniel 7:9

In this sense, "The Ancient of Days" is more akin to what Meher Baba termed "The Beyond the Beyond State of God" in his book "God Speaks". However, Christians nowadays clearly associate the phrase with Jesus. In the well-known song "Ancient of Days" by CityAlight this is clearly the case, although Jesus is not mentioned explicitly:

Ancient of Days

CityAlight

Though the nations rage, kingdoms rise and fall

There is still one King reigning over all

So I will not fear for this truth remains

That my God is, the Ancient of Days

None above Him, none before Him

All of time in His hands

For His throne it shall remain and ever stand

All the power, all the glory

I will trust in His name

For my God is, the Ancient of Days

Though the dread of night overwhelms my soul

He is here with me, I am not alone

O His love is sure, and He knows my name

For my God is, the Ancient of Days

None above Him, none before Him

All of time in His hands

For His throne it shall remain and ever stand

All the power, all the glory

I will trust in His name

For my God is, the Ancient of Days

Though I may not see what the future brings

I will watch and wait for the Saviour King

Then my joy complete, standing face to face

In the presence of the Ancient of Days

None above Him, none before Him

All of time in His hands

For His throne it shall remain and ever stand

All the power, all the glory

I will trust in His name

For my God is, the Ancient of Days

For my God is, the Ancient of Days

Source: Musixmatch

Van Morrison also has a song titled "Ancient of Days" from his album "A Sense of Wonder", released way back in 1985. The lyrics are quite different:

Ancient of Days

Van Morrison 

Saw you shining in the sun this morning 

Saw you shining in the moon at night 

Saw you shining in the sun this morning 

Saw vou shining in the moon at night 

Ancient of days, ancient of days, ancient of day a a a ays 

Saw you standing by the winding river 

Saw you standing by the shining stream 

Saw you standing by the winding river 

Saw you standing bv the shining stream 

Ancient of days, ancient of days, ancient of day a a a ays 

Felt you stirring in my heart this morning 

Felt you moving in my heart at night 

Felt you stirring in my heart this morning 

Felt you moving in my heart at night 

Ancient of days, ancient of days, ancient of day a a a ays 

Saw you shining in the sun this morning 

Saw you shining in the starry night 

Saw you shining in the sun this morning 

Saw you shining in the starry night 

Ancient of days, ancient of days, ancient of day a a a ays   

 Meher Baba often referred to himself as "The Ancient One":

"I was Ram, I was Krishna. I was this One, I was that One, and now I am Meher Baba. In this form of flesh and blood I am that same Ancient One who alone is eternally worshiped and ignored, ever remembered and forgotten."

Lord Meher Online Edition 

"I belong to no religion. Every religion belongs to me. My own personal religion is of my being the Ancient Infinite One, and the religion I teach to all is of love for God. This love can be practiced by anyone, high, low, rich, poor; and everyone of every caste and creed can love God. The one God who resides equally in us all is approachable to everyone through love. So I give my blessings that at least some of you will love God as He is to be loved."

Lord Meher Online Edition

"I am the Ancient One. I came as Ram in the world. I was Krishna and Muhammad. And I was the Christ who was crucified."

Lord Meher Online Edition 

"People say that I am the Avatar, but when it is impossible for rishis and munis to understand me, how can they know me? Only the Perfect Masters know me. I am that Ancient One — Zoroaster, Ram, Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad. But how will you know that I am the Adi Purush [Supreme Power]? Rare are those who have the fortune to know me. So do one thing. Leave the thought of understanding me altogether. Love me, obey me; that is all. "

Lord Meher Online Edition 

"I am the Ancient One, the one residing in every heart. Undoubtedly, I am the Ancient One. So if you love others, make others happy, serve them even at discomfort to yourself, you would be loving me, the Beloved residing in every individual heart."

Lord Meher Online Edition 

The Van Morrison song would be impossible for me to sing but the CityAlight song is relatively easy to play. Here is the Ultimate Guitar link to the chords. Baba also referred to himself as the Avatar but this term has become somewhat debased by its association with an icon or figure representing a particular person in video games, internet forums, etc. and also the James Cameron movie "Avatar". Therefore the term "The Ancient One" is preferable to both "Avatar" and "God", both of which terms carry a lot of baggage.

That's not to say that "The Ancient One" doesn't have any baggage. It does. For instance, in the Marvel Cinematic Universe:

The Ancient One was the Sorcerer Supreme as well as the leader of the Masters of the Mystic Arts. For centuries, the Ancient One protected Earth from mystical threats, and dedicated herself to helping others in need by educating them in the magical arts to give them new hope.

Harry Kenmore

Figure 1: source

I'm currently reading "Harry: The Story of Dr. Harry L. Kenmore and His Life with His Beloved Pop, Meher Baba" by Larry Karrasch and Rita Karrasch, published in July of 2017. Figure 1 shows the cover of the book. I was familiar with Harry Kenmore and his chiropractic treatment of Baba through my reading (and rereading) of Bhau Kalcuri's "Lord Meher". 

However, there is not much detail provided in that source and so this book gives welcome insights into how Harry came to Baba (or how Baba "snared" Harry) and how the two of them interacted on a daily basis when they were together. It serves a similar purpose to David Fenster's "Mehera-Meher: A Divine Romance" in providing rich details of how Mehera and Meher Baba interacted on a daily basis and about the lives of the women mandali.

The book contains many wonderful photographs. Figures 2, 3 and 4 are examples. The following is the description of the book as it appears on the Google Play store:

Harry Kenmore's blindness at the age of sixteen changed his life. After meeting Meher Baba in 1956, the path of his life was again altered because now he found God, Meher Baba. His love and devotion led him to serve Baba as his chiropractor after Baba's second automobile accident on December 2nd 1956, in Satara India. We learn about Harry's journey to become Baba's doctor, entertainer, friend and intimate mandali throughout the next thirteen years. Through the intimate taped conversations, cables and letters between Harry, Baba and the mandali and also talks by Harry to various Baba groups, we gain insight into Harry's life as his relationship evolves with his Pop, Meher Baba. 

"You don't know how much I love you Harry. You have become one of the intimate mandali. So I want you, for the remaining period that is, in between now and My Manifestation, which has not much time now, to just be as the mandali. Like My mandali, remain during this period between now and My Manifestation as mandali. So that when I break My Silence, when I Manifest, the few handful of the mandali can realize Me as I am. You too will realize Me as I am, not the world." Meher Baba November 2nd 1968

Figure 2: Harry with Baba

Figure 3: Baba standing with Francis, Eruch and Harry

Figure 4: Harry with Eruch (behind him), Aloba
and Bhau (standing), Francis and Pendu.

We learn in the book that Harry was born on February 10th 1910 between 2:00pm and 2:30pm in Brooklyn, New York. Figure 5 shows his chart and it is a most interesting one. I'd add commentary to this chart in the near future, as it definitely deserves comment.

Figure 5: chart drawn up using Astrolog

Here is an interesting excerpt from the book:

Harry had his first meeting with Baba in July, 1956 at the Delmonico Hotel in Manhattan and attended the dinner held for Baba at the Longchamp’s restaurant, then again at The Meher Spiritual Center in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. He immediately recognized Meher Baba as his true Beloved and as Almighty God in human form. When Harry had his interview with Baba, in the Lagoon Cabin in 1956, he asked Baba why was he blind in this life? He told Baba that he was able to look back into his past four lifetimes and could not find any karmic reason for this blindness. Baba said, “That if you had not become blind in this life you would have become a great, world renowned surgeon, and then you would have had no reason to search for me. I gave you these vidnyani sanskaras so you would have to meet me in this Advent.” After this meeting with Baba, Harry became resigned to his blindness. Baba also told Harry that he had been one of His Generals when He was Shivaji – a minor Avataric incarnation, in India. And Harry had been a very fierce warrior.

While on the topic of Baba books, I'd very much like to read "Slave of Love: The Life of William Donkin with Meher Baba" by Bob Mossman but it's only available in hard copy format, not as an e-book. While not rivalling a full-blown book, let's not forget that there is invaluable biographical material to found on the MeherBabaTravels.com website. For example, here are links to the Indian mandali mentioned in this post:

• Aloba (Ali Akbar Shapurzaman)
• Pendu (Aspandiar Rustom Irani) 
• Eruch (Eruch Bhyramshaw Jessawala)
• Bhau (Vir Singh Kalchuri)
  
  

I remember meeting Eruch and Bhau when I visited Meherazad in the late 90's. Aloba was still alive then and was probably present as well. Of course, I met Bhau again in hospital when leaving Poona and later again in Singapore. I wrote about this in my post Baba's Gardener.

Personality and Perfection

I once entertained the notion that those who are spiritually advanced must display a calm and pleasant personality. My early interest in Buddhism sustained this because Siddhartha Gautama, once He attained enlightenment, was in my understanding imperturbably calm in the face of all adversities and frustrations.

It was thanks to Meher Baba that I was disabused of this notion. As Baba explained:

In the evening some of the other mandali asked Baba whether the nature of a person changes after the divine experience of Realization. A long discussion ensued, and in the end the Master clarified the matter in relation to the personality of Hafiz:

Even after Realization, a man's nature is the same but in a different way. In the normal human state, his anger, his curses, his strong language and his mannerisms express themselves because of his ego. Where there is ego, there is no God; and where there is God, there is no ego. For this reason, the words and deeds of a Perfect One are egoless.

But his special nature and personality remain the same, even after Realization, and when expressed due to some mood, they are of the greatest benefit to others.

This is the meaning of Hafiz's couplet:

At one time I craved to see various things; 

But since I saw you, I no longer desire to see anything else!

This means that the nature to see is still there. Before, Hafiz craved to see a variety of different subjects; after the divine sight, he longed only to see God. It means: The desire of seeing remains the same but undergoes a change after becoming egoless.

Suppose a man is in the habit of getting angry and beating other people. His nature will remain the same even if he turns into a saint, but the change is beyond imagination. Behind his anger there is now no self-interest. It is simply an impulse with divinity behind it. It comes from the divine flow, and anyone who comes in contact with it is greatly benefited.

For us mere mortals however, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive to bring the more ugly features of our personality under control. When we act out our anger, we disturb those around us and create more sanskaras for ourselves. At the same time, Baba is quick to point out that we shouldn't suppress or repress our anger but instead be quick to catch it before we act on it. If we can do this, we will see that the anger or other negative emotion is purely ego-driven and it will quickly dissipate.

If we try to repress our negative emotions and push them into our subconscious mind, they only gain more influence over us and strengthen what Jung called "The Shadow". Baba regarded hypocrisy as the worst of failings and emphasised that we must not pretend to be what we are not. This prohibition extends to the way we see ourselves. If we are troubled by anger, lust or jealousy, then we must acknowledge this and not pretend to be free of these negative emotions. The psychological tendency to suppression is encouraged if we have an idealised notion of what a spiritual person should be feeling. Suppression can lead to repression in which an individual genuinely believes that he or she is free of troubling emotions. This is no longer hypocrisy but delusion and this brings disaster in one form or another.

So neither suppression or repression is to be encouraged. Instead we should strive as far as possible not to act on our feelings of anger, lust, jealousy etc. Firstly the thought arises and then almost instantly an accompanying desire to give it expression arises. If we are quick enough, we can catch the thought, observe it and allow its energy to dissipate. Often we will not be quick enough and in that case the impulse to act can be suppressed while still holding the thought and its accompanying emotion in our consciousness. 

Baba would constantly goad his mandali into feeling angry or jealous by praising those who were undeserving of praise and criticising those who thought themselves deserving of praise. This served to grind down their egos. Situations in our own lives that arouse similar emotions can serve the same purpose. If someone insults us, our ego is quick to rise to our defence because that is its nature. When this happens, we simply need to observe this and recognise that the ego is simply doing its job. Human consciousness is capable of this objectivity whereas animal consciousness is not.

The following explanation by Baba in January of 1939 is instructive concerning the difference between a Perfect Master and a person of normal consciousness:

Dr. Deshmukh arrived from Nagpur to see Baba in Jabalpur. His mind was quite troubled and he told Baba that people were asking him why Baba was calling himself “God.” They were saying, “Isn’t this the expression of his ego? Isn’t he a supreme egotist?” Deshmukh did not know how to answer them. To pacify Deshmukh, Baba gave this explanation:

In all that a God-Realized soul or an ordinary man says or does, the “I” in him asserts itself. The difference between the two is that the “I” in the ordinary man is limited, whereas in the God-Realized being it is unlimited. If Deshmukh says, “I have written the book,” it is the limited “I” in Deshmukh asserting a certain job he has done. But when I say, “I am God,” it is the unlimited “I” asserting its universal aspect.

The limited “I” must go for the unlimited “I” to take its place. The limited “I” is like a seven-headed demon. The seven heads of lust, anger, greed, attachment, pride, jealousy and hatred must be killed so thoroughly that not even the slightest trace remains. When the false “I” is completely destroyed, another “I,” which is Real and Unlimited, takes its place.

Walking Far From Home

I was listening to Iron and Wine's "Walking Far From Home" from the album of the same name and was intrigued by the lyrics that contain a myriad of images. Here are the lyrics:

Walking Far From Home

Iron & Wine

I was walking far from home

Where the names were not burned along the wall

Saw a building high as heaven

But the door was so small, door was so small

I saw rainclouds, little babies

And a bridge that had tumbled to the ground

I saw sinners making music

And I dreamt of that sound, dreamt of that sound

I was walking far from home

But I carried your letters all the while

I saw lovers in a window

Whisper, "Warn me like time, warn me like time"

I saw sickness blooming fruit trees

I saw blood and a bit of it was mine

I saw children in a river

But their lips were still dry, lips were still dry

I was walking far from home

And I found your face mingled in the crowd

Saw a boat full of believers

Sail off talking too loud, talking too loud

I saw sunlight on the water

Saw a bird fall like a hammer from the sky

And a woman on a speed train

She was closing her eyes, closing her eyes

I saw flowers on a hillside

And a millionaire pissing on the lawn

Saw a prisoner take a pistol

And say, "Join me in song, join me in song"

Saw a car crash in the country

Where the prayers are like weeds along the road

I saw strangers stealing kisses

Giving only their clothes, only their clothes

Saw a white dog chase its tail

And a pair of hearts carved into a stone

I saw kindness and an angel

Crying, "Take me back home, take me back home"

Saw a highway, saw an ocean

I saw widows in the temple to the Lord

Naked dancers in the city

How they spoke for us all, spoke for us all

I saw loaded linen tables

And a motherless colt and it was gone

I saw hungry brothers waiting

With a radio on, radio on

I was walking far from home

Where the names are not burned along the wall

Saw a wet road form a circle

And it came like a call, came like a call

From the Lord

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Samuel Ervin Beam

Walking Far From Home lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

 

Figure 1: source

The song has obvious religious overtones but the third and fourth lines especially caught my attention:

Saw a building high as heaven

But the door was so small, door was so small 

This seems to be a reference to a passage in the Gospel of St. Luke (see Figure 1) and the Gospel of St. Matthew, that is translated as:

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.

For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. 

(Matthew 7:13-14 – English Standard Version)

OR 

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

(Matthew 7:13-14 – New International Version)

 

Figure 2: source

It's an easy song to play on guitar. I've worked out the melody and here are the chords, courtesy of Ultimate Guitar:

STANDARD TUNING

CAPO on I

ALL CHORDS RELATIVE TO CAPO

       G                D

I was walking far from home

            Em                       C

Where the names were not burned along the wall

       G                 D

Saw a building high as heaven

        Em                  C

But the door was so small, door was so small

This the best reference that I found to an interpretation of all the lyrics (source):

"I was walking far from home

Where the names were not burned along the walls"

The Revelation uses imagery of the New Jerusalem having 12 foundations with the names of the 12 Apostles written on them, and 12 gates with the names of the 12 tribes of Israel written on them. Seems like an image of Sam's own personal spiritual journey of metaphorically leaving the Holy City.

"Saw a building, high as Heaven

But the door was so small, door was so small"

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." -Jesus, Matthew 7:13. This could be Sam expressing what the church, or at least church culture, looks like from the outside--a big city with tiny gates. Jesus criticised the religious leaders of His day because they "taught as doctrine the commandments of men" and because of that they "neither entered into the Kingdom of God nor allow(ed) those who would do so to enter."

"I saw sinners making music

And I dreamt of that sound, dreamt of that sound"

If we go with the idea of this narrative of someone leaving this "Holy City" that represents restrictive church culture, Sam's hearing the music of the world and being enthralled by it. It could be that these 'sinners' are people who were classified as sinners by those in the Holy City and refused entry, yet their music is so beautiful.

"I was walking far from home

But I carried your letters all along"

Many Evangelicals like to refer to the Bible as a letter from God to man. Most of the New Testament is a collection of letters written to early churches by the Apostles. Sam was walking far from home, but he was still holding onto God in his heart, even though he was out in the world that those in the Holy City separated themselves from.

"I saw lovers in a window

Whisper want me like time, want me like time"

Sam sees people searching for one of our most fundamental desires and needs, love, and finding it in each other, in whatever flawed form it takes.

"I saw sickness bloom in fruit trees

I saw blood and a bit of it was mine"

Jesus often compares believers to trees who bear fruit, good or bad. "Bad fruit does not come from good trees, nor good fruit from bad trees." Sam could be for the first time seeing flaws in the people of the Holy City who would personify themselves as good trees. As for the blood, it's pretty simple that nobody makes it out of life without some wounds, and Sam at this point has left the sterile environment he was used to.

"I saw children in the river

But their lips were still dry, lips were still dry"

"Children"---Jesus loved children, and He said to His disciples, "unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore anyone who humbles himself like a child will be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." "River"---Jesus said "Whoever believes in me, as the Scriptures say, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water."

I define those terms to explain my interpretation. These children are in the river, which perhaps means they're under the influence of their own Christian families and role models, yet their lips are still dry. Jesus was speaking to a woman at a well outside her city in Samaria--He was, in a way, 'walking far from home' Himself--and He told her, "Whoever drinks of this water will soon be thirsty, but whoever drinks of the water I give them will never be thirsty again." If these kids were drinking of the living water that Jesus gave, they'd never be thirsty again, but their lips are dry. This means Sam sees these kids who are suffering because of the emptiness of their parents.

"I was walking far from home

And I found your face mingled in the crowd"

Walking through the world and being acquainted with all these people, though they're all flawed and imperfect, he still finds God in their midst. Jesus said "The kingdom of God is not coming in ways that can be observed, nor will they say, 'Look, here it is!' or, 'Look over there!'; for, behold, the kingdom of God is in your midst." He's everywhere if we want to find Him. Jesus didn't spend hardly any time with religious people or in temples or synagogues, He ate with publicans, prostitutes, drunks, and sinners, which got Him criticized by the religious leaders of His time, and it likely got Sam criticized as well.

"Saw a boat-full of believers

Sail off talking too loud, talking too loud"

Out there in the world, Sam finds believers who aren't perfect, they're too loud, but they're in boats talking loudly together. They're loving each other, which Jesus said the whole world would recognise His followers for.

"I saw sunlight on the water

Saw a bird fall like a hammer from the sky "

Jesus said He saw Satan fall like lightning from Heaven. After this, the lyrics take a darker turn to show greed, chaos, disaster, despair, but there are still glimmers of light. Seeing as all this happens when the bird falls from the sky, we can assume these things are directly related, and Sam's trying to make a point that evil isn't from God's hand. Things look up when the angel cries out "Take me back home, take me back home," and we come to this imagery:

"Saw a highway, saw an ocean

I saw widows in the temple of the Lord"

Once Jesus was in a temple and He saw the rich people and the Pharisees making extravagant offerings and gifts on the altar, but He saw one poor widow place a single copper coin in the offering plate. He observed, "This woman has truly given more than any of the others." Sam could be making the point that Jesus was making, it's not about extravagance or making a show, it's about the sincerity of the gift.

"Naked dancers in the city

How they spoke for us all, spoke for us all"

In the Old Testament, King David was bringing the Ark of the Covenant which represented the presence of God on earth back to Jerusalem. He lead the whole city in worship in the form of dancing; he himself wore an ephod which wasn't very modest at all and danced his heart out. When he got home, his wife jumped onto him and said basically, "You've made a fool of yourself and showed yourself to all the women in town." His reply was, to sum it up, "I'm just getting started making a fool of myself. You're gonna think I'm a pure heathen by the time it's over with." A whole lot of churches are critical about the way we choose to worship. More pointless man-made laws. Again, it's not about extravagance or looking good, it's about sincerity.

"I saw loaded linen tables

And a motherless colt then it was gone"

Jesus' last stretch of work was a week in Jerusalem. He fulfilled an ancient prophecy by entering the Eastern Gate on a donkey, or a colt. He'd sent His disciples to get it from a house on the road, and He said that if anyone asked what they wanted with it, to tell them, "The Lord has need of it." The loaded linen tables refer to traditional artistic imagery of the Last Supper which happened in Jerusalem. Sam's purpose could be another way of illustrating willing surrender in contrast to that Holy City mentality.

"I saw hungry brothers waiting

With the radio on, radio on"

The disciples arrived to their private Passover feast, and they didn't start until He arrived, as was traditional not to begin without their master/teacher. They likely sang songs or cut up to pass the time. Sam could be trying to paint a picture evocative of the humanity of Jesus and the Apostles, rather than the sterile imagery we see too often from the "Holy City."

"I was walking far from home

Where the names were not burned along the wall

Saw a wet road form a circle

And it came like a call, came like a call from the Lord"

After taking this dirty road from the Holy City all the way through the world, Sam comes back home when the Lord calls him. Maybe he left because of disillusion with the people, maybe he ran from God Himself, but it's clear that Sam found Him in the end, and He doesn't look like what he was used to picturing when he thought of Him.

Blood Testimony on September 12, 2014